Labels…and Lupus

Labels. We all have them.

Most people know me as a yoga teacher. A Pilates teacher. An essential oil guru. A mom and grandmom. A friend (although I strive this year to be a better friend from now on). A fierce entrepreneur with a strong spirit. An advocate. A rock star. A light.

What many don’t know is I am also a woman who has chronic pain and a diagnosis of lupus.

It’s not something I choose to talk a lot about—not because I feel shame— but because I don’t have time to dwell on it, or worry about it, or even hate it.

Instead, I choose to learn from it. I learn from the subtle whispers it speaks to me through aches and pains and unbelievable fatigue. I learn what fear looks like and how I can see those thoughts as just that—thoughts.

I can learn what compassion is on a deeper level, mostly for myself and for those who care about me.

Truth is Lupus sucks. Pain sucks. And being the observer of it and as it relates to my day-to-day, and how it impacts my family, well, it sucks.

I believe I am an amazing woman. I know that I am an excellent yoga teacher and strong advocate of goodness. But, I am also vulnerable and really struggling.

Now you know.

I’ve made radical changes to my schedule and my life, and my comfort now surpasses my need to achieve or exhaust myself working. Instead, I want to feel joy and feel the spirit of being alive. I want to welcome in days where I feel less pain than those days that I do. I want to be present with myself and others.

Lupus or not, I am choosing to live beyond the labels. I just am.

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